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Sadder than the loneliness — which is not that bad, really — is the sadness of saying it!

kept me from being so undeniably in this position before.

I would stay at home with my baby, rearrange the knickknacks and books on the shelf, and when my husband would get home from work ask him to spot the changes.

When I moved to San Diego I answered this ad on Craigslist that two girls posted looking for friends to go camping with. Also I hate camping, it was just the only ad that seemed to be written by real people. In Portland, I lived in a house and we had Sunday dinners that were pretty open and casual — if any of us met people out in the world, we’d invite them and sometimes people would come.

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I’m lucky enough to have made friends with a “planner,” which makes meeting other people so much easier.Moving from Minneapolis to Cedar Rapids with my husband when I was 22 and didn’t have a job was one of the loneliest times in my life.I started working out just to talk to old people in the gym.I think the secret is some place where there is repeat exposure, so that maybe after a month of attending the same 6 p.m. I once went to a Meetup and played Scrabble and other word games with a group of deeply weird people who couldn’t spell.

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