Been dating for 3 years
We’ll hope to work out college and retirement as best we can. At least one set of grandparents is always far away. Or will we let our children decide based on where they are living?Our children will never be able to have both sets of grandparents living nearby. Skype is a wonderful thing but it still doesn’t replace spending time with real, live grandparents, aunts and uncles. And here is one more general question: Where will we be buried when we die? Many of us know the answer already while others have no idea.hat with all of the wonderful reasons why marrying a foreigner is fantastic fun (see our post 10 Reasons Why You Should Marry a Foreigner), there are some definite downsides as well.International marriage isn’t always filled with rolling R’s, melt-in-your-mouth chocolate, blossoming roses and “until death do us part.” It also comes with heart-wrenching and, at times, heart-breaking realities that make us question our choices.I’m planning to return to the States soon & apply for a fiance or K-1 visa. We don’t look at dogs and say ewww it’s from Germany ! And as my book reads a flower in the city which is about this very same topic . Marriage is for the devoted and strong and the ones who found that special someone to share life with and love no matter the circumstances ! We are still young and we all go to bed saying I love you and I tell my kids the reason why some people are bullies is because they aren’t happy at home ! I too asked God to send someone but he was not from America. Reply Your viewpoint on the international marriages is profoundness.I happen to have an immigration attorney friend whose been warning me of the high failure rate between Dominican & American marriages. Your kids will be more understanding to others and less racist ! With animals we think owww how cute but with humans we can’t even look each other in the eye if our color/looks are different ! If they were they wouldn’t care about what others are doing specially if they are happy . Don’t worry so much about who you marry but why you are marrying ! I totally trust God’s decision on who He found for me. Yes with the love and respect between both of you is more important. The Asian cultures have more disciplined on the children of learning and to become sussessful. We had a lot deferent appinions but the end of the day we try to take what ever it is right and common sense. International marriage certainly is difficult, as is marriage in general, but it becomes especially difficult when your partner’s theory of integration means “think, eat, breath like you’re one them”. I have learned many things from him, and there are so many things I like/prefer about living here, but I suspect that I have never been able to teach my partner anything; that perhaps there is another way of dealing then the manner derived from his cultural background.
The cultural idiosyncrasies of my husband that I love the most can also cause me the most frustration when I’m not at my best (and mine can do the same to him! I can’t even imagine what it is like for couples who don’t speak each other’s languages! Then I had to listen to the same from him when we moved to the States.
The knowledge of this weighs heavy on me from time to time. I can’t remember the last time we took a long vacation that didn’t have as its core visiting family members.
Since we live relatively far from my American family, we alternate vacation years so that we can visit his family one year and mine the next.
Below are a few reasons for why I find international marriage difficult. Would they live with me or him or travel between us both? Being that I am not fluent in German (and my German seems to decline steadily each year that we live in the USA), it pains me not to be able to understand nuances of my husband’s language.
Although I wouldn’t say these are necessarily reasons not to marry a foreigner (I chose the title to match our other fun, more positive post), 10. One of us is always living far, far, far away from family and friends. My husband especially feels this when Christmastime rolls around: There is nothing even close to a Weihnachtsmarkt here in Seattle (and where is the smell of roasting nuts filling the air? When I lived in Germany, Thanksgiving came and went without even the sighting of a turkey, let alone family getting together to celebrate. My husband and I have learned to appreciate most of one another’s cultural quirks (this has actually been a fun process overall). Being that one can never know where life will lead us, if my husband and I were to divorce (God forbid), I have no idea how difficult things could get. All in all, international couples who divorce tend to have more difficult decisions to make when compared to those who live in the same country. When we visit his family, I often don’t understand subtle jokes and can feel like an outsider. However, international marriages take just that little bit more.
How else can our families see their grandchildren/niece/nephews grow up? While others are investing their extra dollars in college or retirement accounts, we are saving up for our next airline tickets to Germany!