Best dating joke ever

12-Oct-2017 20:05

These were actually WORSE than just saying "hey." Apparently nothing gets people out of the mood for love more than the term "cargo jorts." Of the top five most commonly selected lines (users were given three options per match), only two of those lines were high-performing. Notopoulos writes about tech and internet culture is cohost of the Internet Explorer podcast.

Settle this once and for all: are they called fireflies or lightning bugs? Katie Notopoulos is a senior editor for Buzz Feed News and is based in New York.

One turns to the other and says: “He started fetching a stick and built up the business from there.”Two cannibals eating a clown, one turned to the other and said: ‘does this taste funny to you? Philippe Philoppe Did you hear about the magic tractor? So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'What do you call a sleeping bull?

They are passed by a third dog driving a lorry load of logs.

Then one day he got a phone call from a director who wanted him for a big part in a play. Opening night arrived, and while he waited in the wings, the actor muttered to himself “Hark!

Prince Charles arrives in Iran on an official visit. And if you, dear reader, have got any favourites, stick them in the comments below. We need one made of rubber so it can stretch further How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? So the nun in the passenger stepped out onto the road, wagged her finger and exclaimed: “Get out of our way, you stupid vampire.”Why was the writer in agony? Confucius he say: 'man who seduces virgin on hillside, not on the level'. “No,” says the Centurion, “If I want a double I’ll ask for one.”Why was the black tarmac afraid of the blue tarmac……because he was a Cycle Path The barman says: “We don’t serve faster-than-light particles here.” A tachyon enters a bar.

Well, I tore the ring out of his lip, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering this guy or they would have to deal with me! One day one of the men, Harry, started talking about this fantastic restaurant he went to the other night with his wife. “Stand far behind her and ask her a question, and then slowly move up and see how far away you are when she first responds.” The old man excited to finally be working on a solution for the problem, runs home and sees his wife preparing supper.

” Honey” the man asks standing around 20 feet away “whats for supper?

He was a big, muscular guy with a ring pierced through his lip. A few old couples used to get together to talk about life and to have a good time. After thinking for a few seconds the Harry said, “what are those good smelling flowers called again? The Doctor suggested a test to find out the extent of the problem. The top prewritten line was: Please confirm you're not one of those people who claps when the plane lands. " actually worked just as well as the clever prewritten lines. Sunday priorities: exercise, sleep, or aggressive mimosas? Chicago's top two lines are about '90s nostalgia (average of 58% higher likelihood of response): What '90s song would you use as the title of your autobiography? And weirdly, Boston was the ONE city where the standard "Hey, what's up?

Choose a dream job: puppy photographer or pizza critic?

What's a better line: "How you doin'" or "How you doin'? Sunday priorities: exercise, sleep, or aggressive mimosas?

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