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I go to my inbox and see who wants to talk to me and then I choose to whom I’ll respond.Sometimes I send a “thanks but no thanks” to particularly sweet messages, but usually I’m so overwhelmed by the new things to read and the new choices in front of me that I ignore those nice guys too.It is a sad, soul-crushing place where good guys go to die a slow death by way of ignored messages and empty inboxes.You will peruse profiles and find a few women who aren’t posing in a bathroom with their stomachs exposed.You will part ways, and you will probably, almost certainly, begin again the next day with another “Hey there…” message from the next contender.I tell all my single guy friends to watch out for online dating.***** It’s a little too far past January 1st to call this a New Year’s Resolution, but I’ve decided to make a change.
Why can’t I apply this “equal investment” attitude to the getting of dates and not just the paying for dates?I write about gender on the Internet for crying out loud!But every day, when I log into the dating site of my choice, I play the passive role, the receiver of attention, the awaiter of messages. You set up a profile, pick some cute photos, write something witty about the things that you love (Beyonce, Hillary Clinton, Battlestar Galactica), list some books you like, and then sit back, kick your feet up, and wait for the messages to roll in.
With those, you will send a few messages back and forth before he invites you for a drink.
You will look for things in common in their profile (they like Scrabble too! You will send them a note, carefully crafted to show interest and attention to detail. The next one will, but she spells “you” as “u” and you will let the conversation stall.