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I felt objectified and grossed out." Jenny, who's tried Ok Cupid in addition to Tinder, has also experienced someone immediately trying to guess her ethnicity, which seems to be a pretty common experience for some women of color online. I just went to a Korean BBQ place.' I'm not Korean, and it's offensive to try to guess my ethnicity off the bat," she explains.
As you'll see, the "I'm going to assume or wonder if you're this ethnicity, then say something asinine about it" technique is clearly alive and well."Men have said dumb sh*t to me about Kama Sutra," Maya B., 25, a queer woman of desi descent who identifies as a first-generation American and second-generation Indian, tells SELF.
When Maya changed her preferences from only women to men and women on Hinge and Coffee Meets Bagel, suddenly her potential matches were Indian guys, even though she'd listed no preference.
So I tend to assume people are 100 with me too until something happens and I’m like – wait!
Of course, women of all races have to deal with BS online. But women of color lack that extra race-based privilege, which can cause some mind-bogglingly stupid reactions from people in the online dating world."As a plus-size black woman attempting to find a suitable mate or at least a date, the results can be pretty sad," Christian S., 30, a Dallas, Texas-based fitness blogger and the creator of The Plush Cyclist, tells SELF.