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27-Dec-2017 20:01

As you read through the is an important way to measure our commitment, trust, and intimacy in our relationships. At the end of each day (e.g., after you put the kids to bed), take a minute and put a " " or a "–" next to each skill to track how well you did with each of them throughout the day. If you are parents, consider putting this sheet up on the refrigerator door next to your children's homework (as "Mom's and Dad's homework") to remind you how you are doing. Feeling injured by others in response to criticism and contempt and refusing to take responsibility for personal actions.When you succeed at implementing these will definitely help you be more satisfied (happy) in your relationships. National Healthy Marriage Resource Center— Marriages— J. Being defensive blocks a couple's ability to deal with an issue.

If learned well, these nine skills can help put our relationships on a positive trajectory for success.

Bringing up a complaint about a specific issue or behavior is actually one of the healthiest activities a couple can engage in (e.g., "When you fail to call me to let me know you are going to be late, it makes me feel like you aren't considering my feelings and the fact that I will worry about you"). For more information on obtaining other UF/IFAS Extension publications, contact your county's UF/IFAS Extension office.

This kind of language is an art form that usually includes speaking with a soft voice, using complaint statements that start with "I feel…" rather than "You…" statements, and garnering the listener's trust in our ability to communicate effectively without eliciting defensiveness.

John Gottman (1994) is one of the nation's leading researchers and practitioners regarding why marriages are successful or unsuccessful.

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He and his colleagues have pinpointed nine skills that, if learned, can help couples communicate more effectively.

I remember thinking, "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I can't believe I'm paying this guy for this." But, once I got off of my high horse, I realized something very simple yet profound: If communication was really that simple, everyone would be doing it and all of our communication would glorify God and reflect His image (1 Peter ; Ephesians ).