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I put sand in you wound, I put in your wound a giant, and around myself I light the fire. It often seems it’s the families of addicts who are forgotten and who largely suffer in silence. So much in fact that I belittled myself by staying with one for seven years. Four years later, when I found out about my husband’s relapse, I thought about this friend and the courage it took him to say this and acknowledge . We go to great lengths to avoid the subject altogether.
There will always be another excuse, another mistake, another relapse, another addiction or anger about a parent’s addiction that they need their lifetime and yours to get over. When my husband first relapsed after his mother died, my well-meaning Christian father told me to “just love him.” But that’s the problem with the addict; the more you love, the more they take of you and everything else, until there’s nothing left to give. While most other people tried to be polite, or pray for me, their comments seemed to gently gloss over what was actually happening. I can do better.” Instead, I stayed, w—a—y too long. Both the addict and the co-dependent will do anything to hide their sense of inadequacy.
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