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12-Sep-2017 18:48

I know of one British couple who left the baby talk until years after the wedding.

When he eventually confessed to wanting to sire a football team, his wife announced that she was getting her tubes tied.

However, since living in New York, I’ve had the opportunity to meet many different people from various backgrounds and it’s become clear that there are definite cultural norms specific to European men versus American men (especially New Yorkers).

I’m not to judge that one is better than the other, and mind you, my observations are based on my own experiences as well as a group of women I’ve interviewed in the last two years.

If it’s not been mentioned yet, best assume your date is currently pretending to laugh at a couple of other people’s jokes too.

Naturally, I’m generalizing, but American women seem more upfront, assertive and opportunistic than their British counterparts.

With European men, if there’s mutual interest, they keep seeing that person and don’t keep hunting for better options simultaneously. Nor will they freak out when discussions of commitment or future come up.

The dynamic may or may not move into a serious relationship, but they are not trying to gather other options or back up plans in case it doesn’t. Americans (both men and women) have been socialized to play games, to act unavailable, to wait a particular amount of time before texting back…

For example, in the Netherlands, comprehensive sexuality education starts at age four. Instead of cruelly dismissing someone by disappearing, they communicate that they are not interested. As the media in Europe is a lot more heavily monitored, Europeans grow up surrounded by media and images of women who are curvy, comfortable in their own skin, and sensual (versus overly sexualized).

In America, sexual education is not taught until one hits their teens, if they are taught at all. It’s no surprise that American men are left to their own devices, subconsciously learning about sex through porn and the media. The latest law passed in France where excessively skinny models need to prove their health is a testament to that.I’ve watched girls in coffee shops and bars, not only surveying man candy from afar but, like lionesses eyeing a fat antelope with a dodgy knee, zoning in and making their intentions known. American men, so I’m told, are more likely to offer to pay for dates and bat away a woman’s wallet.Early discussions about what you’re looking for, be it a husband or casual hook-up, are also commonplace here.If your expat game plan includes finding love then you’ll need to wrap your brain around romancing the American way. S.-style dating looks a lot like it does elsewhere: find someone you don’t hate on sight and who you strongly suspect isn’t a serial killer, then arrange to meet for some kind of shared food or beverage experience. It’s like a job or house hunt, which means investigating more than one prospect at a time.



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