Dating black man 20
The ease with which this white man navigated the public sphere was simply amazing and I wanted that. No matter how I modified my company, as a conscious black woman, I knew I was different and could not shake that suspicion of being exoticized by white men; I could never fully trust these relationships were real because at the end of the day I was still black.
I was not raised a sheltered, “white washed” black woman, and so the permanence of being black, with all its burdens, was always more important to me than temporary ease of access – but that privilege afforded by my complexion was not so easy to ignore.
I choose to internalize their experiences of undervaluation, passed over promotions and emasculation.
I choose to carry the burden of [dating] black men, and I choose it often; 90% of the men I’ve dated are black.
Meanwhile, a pumpkin spice latte costs around .50, compared to or more for a glass of wine.
Over time I’ve found that the easiest way to change my ethnicity – change the way people treat me – is to change my company.