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11-Apr-2017 07:54

Another survey found that ‘basic’ ladies are steaming hot: Potential love interests are 8% more likely to reach out to a woman who has the words “pumpkin spice” somewhere on her dating profile, than they were to those who didn’t mention the fall drink.

That’s according to a survey of 2,800 singles released this week by dating site Plenty of Fish, which concluded that “ladies may want to consider putting the words ‘pumpkin spice’ in their online dating profile.” (The same did not hold true for men.) This is mixed news for the dating set.

I knew that the Access Denied Pass did not extend to me – when I was in the “right” company, so shame on me for surrounding myself with such company, right? I still remember how I felt when I first dated a white man.

I was welcomed into any space and important; we didn’t need to dress a certain way to prove our membership. The burden had been lifted; we wouldn’t get turned away at the door, in fact, we always skipped the line. I implicitly signaled to whites that I was mainstream, that I shared their middle-class values, that I was civilized – that I wasn’t angry, but safe and approachable. I realized I could choose whether or not my sons looked like Trayvon Martin, or my daughters like Marissa Alexander. The ease I was afforded became mitigated by the fact that my otherness amplified in increasingly white situations; while part of self-identification lies in perception, a portion rests in reality.

The black man occupies a unique space in American culture.

He is an aggressive and inherently violent threat to society.

And indeed, the Plenty of Fish data showed that more than one in three men say they would be psyched if their date asked them to grab a pumpkin spice latte. Thoughtful ( 28%) This research all comes at a time when more men and women are looking for love online.

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When I choose to date a black man, I choose to be ignored at bars, barred from clubs, humiliated by groups of drunken white men, or passed over by taxis.The feelings I experienced that fateful night at the bar, and admittedly many times thereafter, now evoke the wise words of Malcolm X: “If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing.” Unpacking privilege and sorting through the complexities of racial and sexual politics as a bi-racial woman in white America can be a high task.Accepting that my seemingly personal decisions regarding who will occupy my company or my body, is a high task.According to data from 12,000 profiles released last year from dating site e Harmony.com, a number of words make a potential love interest more likely to respond to you. That’s up from the 11% who reported doing so in early 2013, according to data from last year released by the Pew Research Center.



Apr 23, 2014. South African journalist Mpho Lakaje, who is married to a white woman, reflects on how his country has changed in the 20 years since the end of white minority rule. When I started dating the woman I was to marry many of my friends and some of her family - black and white - were united in opposition.… continue reading »


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