Dating for widows and widowers


04-Feb-2018 03:30

My husband now often says he would have felt fond of my previous husband and he is grateful to him that he looked out for me before we met and he’s looking out for me now so he has a fond and affectionate feeling towards him.

There has been controversy over the fact that in the new edition of the DSM [psychiatric disorders manual], you could be given antidepressants if you are recently bereaved…

I always felt I was a misfit widow because I was not following through them.

In fact, studies of actual grieving people show that they don’t follow those stages.

I wanted to try out ideas from what I was learning and see if it actually was better. One of things we [started with] was the idea that it’s helpful to people to have new experiences and friendships and humor. My goal in starting the group was to say it’s not supposed to be a group where we sit around and talk about being sad.

Instead, we get together and do new things, have fun experiences and see what comes out of that. We took a cooking class, we did a tour of the Metropolitan Museum, that was towards the beginning when I was coming up with ‘worthwhile’ things to do. We went to a spa and to a lingerie store when some of the women were ready to start dating again.

I would say if someone already suffers from depression, it should be treated and if someone is grieving, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re depressed.

I did find in the research that people tend to be traumatized by the death of a loved one more than depressed by it.

As we were together, the painful things came up, but it was naturally in conversation. I know lots of people have a hard time dealing with death so they don’t say anything because they are afraid to say the wrong thing. Whatever that person seems to be wanting to talk about, let them do it.The research found that couples who are very close and loving, when one dies, the other person is well situated to find a new partner and be happy again because that’s what they are accustomed to.People shouldn’t be made to feel guilt if that’s what they want.We also invited a group of widowers to meet us and volunteered at a camp for children who have lost someone and ultimately went on a trip to where none of us had been before.

We get together a lot now and talk about what engaged us the most. Some people say the trip; some say volunteering at the camp; some say trying on lingerie.

What are some of those outdated ideas and why are they no longer valid?



Dear Ministry Leader, In the two categories below you'll find first of all group curriculum, study guides or websites. Second a list of excellent Christian speakers who also happen to be widows.… continue reading »


Read more

FACING LIFE ALONE AGAIN Loss of a Spouse at a Young Age Leaves Many People Without Emotional Support When her husband was killed in a freak accident in 1987 while pruning a limb from a… continue reading »


Read more

It is sinful for widows to masturbate? Is it wrong for them to want to experience the pleasure they felt with their husband? Here are my thoughts.… continue reading »


Read more

Say goodbye to loneliness when you join Widower Chat City. Meet people who know what you're dealing with and who want to help you learn to enjoy life again. Widower Chat City… continue reading »


Read more

He says he has always taken it slow in dating and this is nothing new. Is it fair to give him a little more time and just get busy with other things so that I.… continue reading »


Read more