Dating middle aged bachelor
First, Beth reviewed the literature and research we had on file.With this in mind, I reviewed our interviews with men and women who were planning to marry and videos of two focus groups we had run with single men.In fact, we threw out the entire study and started again.The second time we tried teams composed of men and women, but that produced mainly politically correct answers, which we also questioned.She said, “You reinforce the myth that the reason men don’t commit is that the women in their lives do something wrong. In most cases, it’s the man in a relationship who decides he isn’t ready or doesn’t want to get married, and he makes this decision without any help from the woman."After telling Beth that more than three hundred women had worked with me on the marriage research and not one had made the comment she just offered, I apologized. My interviews with single men had shown there were men who would not commit.Beth was also right when she said that if I could help women identify which men were more likely to commit, I would be performing a real service.But this is taking a gamble that the man is typical, because the figures I’ve just given are educated estimates.Not all men mature at the same rate, and other factors can and do affect a man’s readiness to marry.
So if you’re dating a man much younger than the commitment age, the chance he’ll commit is relatively small.
The single men we interviewed explained that when they get out of school and get a job and start making money, new possibilities open to them.
For the first time, a majority of them have some independence.
Many look at time spent as a carefree bachelor as a rite of passage.
So for the first few years that they’re on their own, their primary goal is having fun, which translates into dating without any serious thoughts about marriage.
There’s one exception to this rule: Men and women who are seriously committed couples while still in school often get married shortly after they finish their formal education.