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For polyamorists and other sexual minorities, however, coming out can risk a negative reaction. Many long-time polyamorists exclusively date other experienced polys, skirting the issue of coming out or explaining polyamory by avoiding relationships with monogamous people and those trying their first open relationship.
Dating only people who are already polyamorous works much better in areas with large concentrations of poly people, but leaves people in most other places with rather limited options.
For those people without access to a large selection of polyamorists, recruiting from the general population may be the only way to find new partners. Date Polyamorous People In any polyamorous setting, honesty is both the best policy and the social norm.
For people who hang out with a polyamorous crowd and are socialized to expect direct and excruciatingly honest communication, anthing short of immediate and complete disclosure can be interpreted as potentially manipulative or sneaky.
If you have tested the waters and decided it might be safe to proceed, then be sure to select a moment when you will have the time and privacy to have a potentially sensitive conversation.
Stressful or rushed situations are probably not the opportune time to bring up polyamory. Assess their knowledge Be on the lookout for an opportunity or find a way to casually bring up consensual non-monogamy, and ask if the person has ever heard of it and what they think about it.
Alternately, you could select a movie with a non-monogamous theme or character, like those collected by Alan at Polyamory in the Media. Assess the risk Given what you know about this person and how they have responded to your fact-finding attempts, how do you think they will react?
This is obviously not a hard and fast rule, but people with deep religious or personal beliefs that same-sex relationships are wrong tend to hold other conservative beliefs about sexuality as well. Relax There is no need to make a big deal out of the announcement, no need to give signals that you are about to have a SCAREY TALK because it can be just a regular chat.
When deciding whether or not to reveal that their parents were poly, some of the kids who participated in my research on polyamorous families would ask their peers what they thought about same-sex marriage.
If the person expresses legal reservations about same-sex marriage, that provides some wiggle room for follow up questions about morals and ethics of relationships.
In my view this is not sound advice..is, if a person wants to truly treat others with integrity and not be manipulative.
I let anyone I'm interested in exploring with know BEFORE we have **any** sort of date that I am non-monogamous.
Both Polymatchmaker and OKCupid provide a lot of poly connections and provide options to describe yourself as poly and seek poly partners.