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15-Feb-2018 02:45

I've seen people become very angry that they were not told by the person they were mutually flirting with (and possibly dating..if the dates we not yet sexual) that the non-mono person is not looking for a monogamous relationship.

I would rather experience early rejection by someone who I can remain friends with (because I did not string them along...one iota), than later rejection by someone who feels so totally ripped that I manipulated them (while their emotional interest and possible investment grew) that after that they won't even speak to me again.

For polyamorists and other sexual minorities, however, coming out can risk a negative reaction. Many long-time polyamorists exclusively date other experienced polys, skirting the issue of coming out or explaining polyamory by avoiding relationships with monogamous people and those trying their first open relationship.

Dating only people who are already polyamorous works much better in areas with large concentrations of poly people, but leaves people in most other places with rather limited options.

The task of introducing the idea of polyamory to a current or potential sweetie can be intimidating.

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You can always bring it up later when the opportunity presents itself, or once you are either more certain of a positive response or less vulnerable to a negative response.If the person expresses religious or moral objections to same-sex relationships, then they are at least somewhat likely to react poorly to consensual non-monogamy.This is obviously not a hard and fast rule, but people with deep religious or personal beliefs that same-sex relationships are wrong tend to hold other conservative beliefs about sexuality as well. Relax There is no need to make a big deal out of the announcement, no need to give signals that you are about to have a SCAREY TALK because it can be just a regular chat.Alternately, you could select a movie with a non-monogamous theme or character, like those collected by Alan at Polyamory in the Media. Assess the risk Given what you know about this person and how they have responded to your fact-finding attempts, how do you think they will react?

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Even more importantly, how might that reaction impact you?I should add that I have been openly non-monogamous my entire adult life (I am now 59), and have been a visible and vocal poly activist and educator for over the past 10 years.I've had literally thousands of conversations on this topic.Hi Bhramari, Thank you for your comment, I really appreciate it, you are encouraging me to rewrite the post to clarify my meaning.



Feb 13, 2013. These are often initiated on dating and hook-up sites such has OkCupid, Zoosk, PlentyofFish, Grindr and Match.com, just a handful of the 2,500 dating sites. "This casual, hook-up mentality isn't a new thing," says Dar "Dr. Dar" Hawks, a Charlotte-based TV personality and relationship, dating and marriage.… continue reading »


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Aug 9, 2010. I haven't gotten a very clear answer on the validity of these personality tests, though I probably haven't asked anyone whose bread & butter was this particular area. The high heritability of. Is there a screech when the car is accelerating, or when it's shifting gears, or turning at slow speeds? Unless the.… continue reading »


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