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It can be freeing to regard a kink like SPH or your thing for tit slapping as a reward—as the only good thing to come out of the shitty zap the culture put on the head of a guy with a small cock or, in your case, a young woman with large breasts.
Technically, MILF, we are all objects—"a material thing that can be seen and touched"—but unlike, say, Fleshlights or vibrators, we feel joy and pain and have wants and needs.
I suspect your orgasms are just as good when you watch lesbian porn, CAPP, but the sense—suppressed when you were turned on, surfacing once you're not—that the performers weren't really enjoying themselves taints your lesbian-porn-enhanced orgasms in retrospect. Seek out lesbian porn featuring actual lesbians—authentic lesbian porn is out there. Sometimes we overcome the negative messaging our culture sends us about our identities or bodies only after our erotic imaginations have seized on the fears or self-loathing induced by those messages and turned them into kinks. Before a guy can ask a partner to indulge him in SPH, CAPP, he has to accept (and kind of dig) his small cock.
So the acceptance is there, but the kink—a turn-on rooted in a resolved conflict—remains.
(Particularly when that someone is clearly objectifying you!
Suck Ass Sex Videos is able to solve all your current problems by giving you desired relaxation!
You won't be able to go from disclosing your kink to realizing it during that candlelit dinner.