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09-Nov-2017 10:13

I discovered that the law studied and practiced by students was different in slight ways from law publically practiced, and each court was likewise off in miniscule ways, which were rarely noticed, and if noticed not disclosed, as such knowledge was only an advantage so long as it remained secret.

Finally I discovered that there is no exact copy of any text anywhere, that each seeming copy is different from all others, each of which is similar only in this shared difference, and it is a collective apathy and embarassment that prevents people from recognizing that when they seem to talk about one thing, they are in fact talking about two different things, and this unseen but everpresent disconnect is the reason why we are the way we are today. Pamela used to tell me she wanted to become a prostitute, which I thought she talked about the same way I occasionally talk about becoming a convict: in the abstract, it seems a simplifying move, a means of forcibly casting off the complications of everyday life, but not a strategy that really made sense.

This started in March, I think, late March, when I was sitting by myself in that little square by Ragstock and this older woman told me I looked like I knew something.

This was a Saturday afternoon, and the Friday before (as was my habit at the time) I had Taken Something, so I was in that weird open clearheaded day after state of mind and said it is possible that I know something but I don’t know which something she meant.

At the end of May classes were over and I went back to Waterloo for the summer, and when I returned to Iowa City in the fall I sat on my old bench and waited for someone to ask me their fortune, but nobody asked, and I couldn’t really solicit people for something like that, so after half a hour I went back to Burge and gave up my fortunetelling business for good.

I knew I was not yet a genius because I sucked at chess and couldn’t do math problems in my head, which was okay, as I didn’t want to be that kind of genius.

The closest I could come to understanding what this position of genius meant was that people would have a problem, and they would have to come to me, as I was the only person equipped to deal with it.

That kinda sounds gross.” She exhaled sharply, obviously disappointed in me, and said “All I said is you *could* do it.

Once a week I would be assigned a story, a pdf copy emailed to me, and by the end of the week I would email back a two thousand word summary of the characters, settings and plot developments of the story, along with notes on symbolism and contemporary relevence.As I got a little older, I decided I didn’t want to be the sort of nerdy geniuses I knew from my TAG classes, I wanted to be an at-risk genius, a genius damaged by the very genius which led to being a genius (or something) so that nobody would expect me to have to do anything as tacky as get a job or do busywork or get good grades, no, I was the genius of last resort, and everyone would secretly fear me and my crazy eyes!I later decided that being a genius meant being able to explain difficult things in simple terms without compromise, but by that time I was done with wanting to be a genius and instead was training to become a matador. For about two months, during the spring, I was an unofficial fortune teller at the Ped Mall in Iowa City.I figured reading a lot was important, so I started doing that, but I didn’t really consider that I was reading might actually be important, so I mostly trawled through bad fiction and pop science.



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