Roast jokes dating the boss

21-Mar-2017 00:12

Do you know how to tell if your boyfriend is geting fat? My boyfriend likes to eat vegetables that looks like him for dinner. Q: How can you tell when your boyfriend is well hung? Q: Why does your boyfriend have a hole in their penis? Girlfriend: I want to end up our relationship, I am going to return you everything you gave me..

A: Because if they all went, it would be called hell.

Lucky to be alive, one of the hunters said, “Any idea where we are? The second skunk bowed his head and said, “Let us spray.”On the first day of the deer hunting season, a hunter fell out of a deer stand and broke both his legs. Just then the Game Warden came up and cited the man 0 for hunting without the proper tag. At the end of the day and still empty-handed, one hunter said to the other, “Maybe tomorrow we’ll get one if we throw the dog out of a higher treestand.”Which side of a deer has the most meat? A boastful hunter kept telling his buddies the same story, and they chided him for telling it over and over. “How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?

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“Fire three shots up in the air, every hour on the hour” says the other.Girl: -speechless-Me: oh and you might want to wipe that ketchup off your chin Girl: *goes to wipe chin*Me: no, your other chin Trump said in his campaign that if I voted for Clinton, I would be stuck with a criminal president under constant federal investigation from day one. I voted for Clinton and I'm stuck with a criminal president under federal investigation from day one.Every now and then, from one of the incredible minds behind GOLF Magazine, comes an idea that puts a smile on the face of sports journalism. In fact, the following selection of rotten, lame, and exhausted old chestnuts did nothing but produce an expression that would suggest that sports journalism might need more fiber in its diet. I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me! And the rich man says "I'm getting her a diamond ring and a Marcedes." "Why both? And the rich man says "That way if she doesn't like the ring she can still enjoy the Marcedes when she returns the ring." And then the rich man asks the poor man "What are you getting your girlfriend?

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