When your ex wife starts dating xquery updating function
Upon closer evaluation, you will always eventually come to the conclusion that, even though your girlfriend’s new girlfriend has dark cascading hair like you do, or maybe even the same teal-colored eyes and 5’1 frame, she’s not the version of you. It’s precisely why original paintings go for thousands upon thousands of dollars more than the lithograph. So here’s what you’re going to do: You’re going to send them all of your best energy and you’re going to strut away into your new life.
You’re going to close the chapter, get a fresh haircut, get a new tattoo, swipe for a different type of woman on Tinder, go to a shrink and process your feelings, crush it at your job, crush it in the gym, hang out with your lovely friends, paint your nails jet black, bury yourself into a self-help book, put on a pair of shiny pleather pants and head to the dyke bar. Zara Barrie is the Executive Editor of GO Magazine.
But if I HAD done such a thing, it would only be because all the ladies shared a common name. For the record: It kind of infuriates me, but it also kind of turns me on, but that’s because I’m a cold-blooded narcissist. Because even if she’s wealthier, or has less acne than you do, or appears to go to pilates seventeen thousand times a week, and has 100,000 followers on social media platforms, you were there first. And nothing baby, NOTHING, is ever quite as fabulous as the original. The last strange thought you have during this emotional rollercoaster is the strangest of them all. You’re comparing yourself to another woman, which is entirely against your ideals as a feminist. And maybe your ex is dating someone who looks like you. And isn’t it important that someone you once loved with all of your heart, is happy and in love once again? Even if it feels like you’ve been kicked in the chest to look at pictures of them, at the end of the day, aren’t you and I above acting like a wildly jealous bitch?Shouting out the wrong name in bed is a common malpractice performed by many lesbians because we often date people with similar names.I went on a whole “L” streak for a few years, where everyone I f*cked/dated had the first letter “L” in their names.This avoids your children feeling ‘guilty’ that they’re keeping a secret, or that they have to choose between their mum and dad.